1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:05,510
[Music]

2
00:00:08,710 --> 00:00:06,789
there's a whole fleet of them look on

3
00:00:10,950 --> 00:00:08,720
the assay

4
00:00:14,310 --> 00:00:10,960
oh my gosh they're all going against the

5
00:00:18,950 --> 00:00:16,390
it was basically a cube with inside of

6
00:00:23,940 --> 00:00:18,960
sphere where the points of the cube

7
00:00:37,110 --> 00:00:33,200
[Music]

8
00:00:38,709 --> 00:00:37,120
[Applause]

9
00:00:40,950 --> 00:00:38,719
so this isn't anything that just is

10
00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:40,960
limited to the united states it's a

11
00:00:53,670 --> 00:00:50,470
joining me now for the first in the

12
00:00:55,910 --> 00:00:53,680
series of experiencer shows i have robin

13
00:00:57,670 --> 00:00:55,920
lasseter a member of the experiencer

14
00:01:00,389 --> 00:00:57,680
group joining me robin welcome to the

15
00:01:01,590 --> 00:01:00,399
podcast thank you so much for having me

16
00:01:03,750 --> 00:01:01,600
andy thank you

17
00:01:05,109 --> 00:01:03,760
no thank you for coming on and obviously

18
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:05,119
thank you to jay who we're going to be

19
00:01:09,109 --> 00:01:07,119
speaking to as well for helping arrange

20
00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:09,119
this with some of you folks from the

21
00:01:14,310 --> 00:01:12,000
experiencer group obviously i i read

22
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:14,320
ralph blumenthal's article and it was it

23
00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:16,880
was fascinating great to see a name like

24
00:01:21,670 --> 00:01:19,040
ralph picking up the subject and running

25
00:01:24,950 --> 00:01:21,680
with it as he has and delving into some

26
00:01:26,950 --> 00:01:24,960
of the aspects of ufos uaps the

27
00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:26,960
phenomenon that maybe some other

28
00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:28,960
journalists aren't comfortable touching

29
00:01:32,310 --> 00:01:30,560
on so it's really good he's done that

30
00:01:34,310 --> 00:01:32,320
and i'm glad people yourselves are

31
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:34,320
finally getting the opportunity to to

32
00:01:37,270 --> 00:01:35,840
have your stories told and that's

33
00:01:38,789 --> 00:01:37,280
exactly what i'm looking to do as part

34
00:01:41,590 --> 00:01:38,799
of this podcast robin is give people

35
00:01:43,030 --> 00:01:41,600
like yourself an opportunity to speak to

36
00:01:44,789 --> 00:01:43,040
an audience that may not have seen the

37
00:01:47,030 --> 00:01:44,799
article or may want to hear it in a

38
00:01:48,789 --> 00:01:47,040
different form kind of from your mouth

39
00:01:50,149 --> 00:01:48,799
basically so robin do you want to just

40
00:01:52,149 --> 00:01:50,159
tell the audience a little bit about

41
00:01:55,030 --> 00:01:52,159
yourself

42
00:01:57,190 --> 00:01:55,040
uh yes thanks so much yeah um i'm 42

43
00:02:00,149 --> 00:01:57,200
years old i

44
00:02:04,149 --> 00:02:00,159
grew up in southern colorado

45
00:02:05,429 --> 00:02:04,159
i live in colorado now i've had

46
00:02:07,990 --> 00:02:05,439
um

47
00:02:10,550 --> 00:02:08,000
you know i've had lifelong experiences

48
00:02:11,430 --> 00:02:10,560
that i

49
00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:11,440
have

50
00:02:15,990 --> 00:02:13,840
also taken a lifetime to sort of

51
00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:16,000
understand and put into

52
00:02:21,430 --> 00:02:17,840
a narrative that i can

53
00:02:24,070 --> 00:02:21,440
speak about and share with people

54
00:02:25,910 --> 00:02:24,080
and i am part of the experiencer group

55
00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:25,920
as you said and

56
00:02:33,350 --> 00:02:30,080
even being part of ralph's article

57
00:02:35,670 --> 00:02:33,360
was so sort of improbable and unexpected

58
00:02:37,430 --> 00:02:35,680
that it's almost become part of the

59
00:02:39,270 --> 00:02:37,440
experience for me

60
00:02:40,949 --> 00:02:39,280
um

61
00:02:42,630 --> 00:02:40,959
and yeah i'm really glad that he did the

62
00:02:44,309 --> 00:02:42,640
article as well and that people are

63
00:02:46,550 --> 00:02:44,319
having a chance to speak about their

64
00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:46,560
experiences the the depth of what

65
00:02:51,190 --> 00:02:48,480
happens is so

66
00:02:53,990 --> 00:02:51,200
much more i think than people imagine

67
00:02:55,830 --> 00:02:54,000
and so being able to share

68
00:02:58,229 --> 00:02:55,840
something that i've kept inside for so

69
00:03:00,390 --> 00:02:58,239
long and was eventually unable to keep

70
00:03:02,070 --> 00:03:00,400
inside has been

71
00:03:04,630 --> 00:03:02,080
important for me i'm at the beginning of

72
00:03:05,910 --> 00:03:04,640
this journey so i've got some some

73
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:05,920
nerves and

74
00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:08,000
um may stumble through it a bit but i'm

75
00:03:12,070 --> 00:03:10,000
happy to be here talking about it

76
00:03:13,910 --> 00:03:12,080
no thank you i've i've spent 18 months

77
00:03:14,949 --> 00:03:13,920
doing this podcast and still stumble

78
00:03:17,350 --> 00:03:14,959
through it so

79
00:03:19,430 --> 00:03:17,360
you're in good company now your your

80
00:03:21,110 --> 00:03:19,440
first experience robin it takes you back

81
00:03:22,710 --> 00:03:21,120
to when you are four years old is that

82
00:03:27,030 --> 00:03:22,720
correct

83
00:03:28,789 --> 00:03:27,040
it is yes and uh that experience

84
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:28,799
even though i do count it as my first

85
00:03:32,390 --> 00:03:30,959
experience i i was so young and it was

86
00:03:34,789 --> 00:03:32,400
just part of

87
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:34,799
i had a lot of experiences as a kid and

88
00:03:39,110 --> 00:03:36,560
it was part of just the landscape of my

89
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:39,120
childhood and i

90
00:03:42,630 --> 00:03:40,560
i didn't know

91
00:03:44,710 --> 00:03:42,640
at that age that it wasn't just what it

92
00:03:47,350 --> 00:03:44,720
was like to be a human sort of you know

93
00:03:50,070 --> 00:03:47,360
so it wasn't until um

94
00:03:53,270 --> 00:03:50,080
until later in life that i

95
00:03:55,589 --> 00:03:53,280
realized how unusual it was and uh

96
00:03:57,910 --> 00:03:55,599
could reflect on it in relation to all

97
00:04:02,309 --> 00:03:57,920
the other experiences that i had but

98
00:04:04,949 --> 00:04:02,319
um that experience i i found myself

99
00:04:06,869 --> 00:04:04,959
awake uh downstairs

100
00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:06,879
which would have been difficult for me

101
00:04:09,990 --> 00:04:08,560
to get downstairs without waking up the

102
00:04:12,869 --> 00:04:10,000
rest of the house we lived in a very

103
00:04:16,150 --> 00:04:12,879
small um sort of creaky house

104
00:04:18,469 --> 00:04:16,160
and in front of me was this

105
00:04:19,590 --> 00:04:18,479
insectoid being

106
00:04:21,189 --> 00:04:19,600
um

107
00:04:23,350 --> 00:04:21,199
i was not afraid

108
00:04:28,310 --> 00:04:23,360
and

109
00:04:30,310 --> 00:04:28,320
called him immediately in my mind i just

110
00:04:31,830 --> 00:04:30,320
called him ant-man he had sort of an

111
00:04:34,070 --> 00:04:31,840
exoskeleton

112
00:04:35,749 --> 00:04:34,080
and um

113
00:04:38,629 --> 00:04:35,759
i got the sense that he was just there

114
00:04:40,629 --> 00:04:38,639
to check on me and i didn't know what to

115
00:04:43,270 --> 00:04:40,639
think of that or what to do with any of

116
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:43,280
that but

117
00:04:47,110 --> 00:04:45,120
i think my next memory was just being

118
00:04:48,629 --> 00:04:47,120
back in bed the next morning it was it

119
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:48,639
wasn't more remarkable than that

120
00:04:51,590 --> 00:04:50,000
although i do have a couple of other

121
00:04:54,070 --> 00:04:51,600
memories of

122
00:04:55,749 --> 00:04:54,080
of that being

123
00:04:58,469 --> 00:04:55,759
showing up

124
00:05:01,029 --> 00:04:58,479
in my life and childhood

125
00:05:03,350 --> 00:05:01,039
later on but that was

126
00:05:04,870 --> 00:05:03,360
that was the first sort of experience i

127
00:05:06,710 --> 00:05:04,880
had although throughout my whole

128
00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:06,720
childhood i had

129
00:05:10,629 --> 00:05:08,800
out of body experiences regularly which

130
00:05:12,950 --> 00:05:10,639
i also didn't know

131
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:12,960
were unusual i didn't know that that's

132
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:14,160
not what life

133
00:05:17,029 --> 00:05:16,160
was just like for people

134
00:05:19,670 --> 00:05:17,039
um

135
00:05:22,310 --> 00:05:19,680
but i i had

136
00:05:23,670 --> 00:05:22,320
a lot of out of body experiences

137
00:05:25,350 --> 00:05:23,680
a lot of

138
00:05:26,550 --> 00:05:25,360
sort of

139
00:05:27,909 --> 00:05:26,560
traveling

140
00:05:29,909 --> 00:05:27,919
up out

141
00:05:32,550 --> 00:05:29,919
of the top of my house

142
00:05:35,029 --> 00:05:32,560
with a sort of unseen but very felt

143
00:05:37,350 --> 00:05:35,039
presence next to me seeing the landscape

144
00:05:38,469 --> 00:05:37,360
recede um

145
00:05:40,550 --> 00:05:38,479
and

146
00:05:42,870 --> 00:05:40,560
often those experiences would be

147
00:05:45,670 --> 00:05:42,880
accompanied by sort of

148
00:05:47,189 --> 00:05:45,680
traumatic end of the world dreams

149
00:05:49,110 --> 00:05:47,199
which

150
00:05:52,629 --> 00:05:49,120
i've had my entire life as well sort of

151
00:05:56,950 --> 00:05:52,639
i call them armageddon dreams and i

152
00:05:59,029 --> 00:05:56,960
again until later in my life didn't know

153
00:06:00,469 --> 00:05:59,039
what you know how that

154
00:06:02,469 --> 00:06:00,479
how that went together with everything

155
00:06:04,550 --> 00:06:02,479
or what to do with that

156
00:06:07,110 --> 00:06:04,560
my family was not religious we didn't i

157
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:07,120
had no context for that whatsoever

158
00:06:11,270 --> 00:06:08,639
but it was always

159
00:06:14,150 --> 00:06:11,280
you know explosions and suffering and

160
00:06:16,230 --> 00:06:14,160
humanity struggling and um

161
00:06:17,830 --> 00:06:16,240
and then often sort of a regeneration

162
00:06:21,110 --> 00:06:17,840
happening after that

163
00:06:22,710 --> 00:06:21,120
and i think that so from my earliest

164
00:06:24,309 --> 00:06:22,720
experiences i feel that i was sort of

165
00:06:26,870 --> 00:06:24,319
instilled with this kind of mission

166
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:26,880
about the planet and this real urgency

167
00:06:29,189 --> 00:06:28,160
that

168
00:06:30,870 --> 00:06:29,199
uh

169
00:06:33,029 --> 00:06:30,880
something was gonna happen and i needed

170
00:06:35,110 --> 00:06:33,039
to be ready for it that's that's been

171
00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:35,120
something that i felt my entire life so

172
00:06:38,390 --> 00:06:36,720
that's that's kind of what my childhood

173
00:06:40,710 --> 00:06:38,400
experiences were like

174
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:40,720
no thanks for sharing that first off now

175
00:06:43,350 --> 00:06:42,240
when i think of you know dreams about

176
00:06:45,670 --> 00:06:43,360
the end of the world are those

177
00:06:47,670 --> 00:06:45,680
armageddon dreams that i think terminate

178
00:06:49,350 --> 00:06:47,680
her too when that scene she's in the

179
00:06:50,950 --> 00:06:49,360
park and is that what you're kind of

180
00:06:53,909 --> 00:06:50,960
getting at you know playground and

181
00:06:56,629 --> 00:06:53,919
explosion goes off and it's fire and

182
00:07:00,469 --> 00:06:56,639
death and those sorts of dreams yeah

183
00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:00,479
um yeah yeah actually not um i always

184
00:07:04,469 --> 00:07:02,800
they always seem to sort of until later

185
00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:04,479
in my life they seem to kind of happen

186
00:07:07,749 --> 00:07:06,479
at a distance i would i could i had a

187
00:07:10,790 --> 00:07:07,759
sort of

188
00:07:13,189 --> 00:07:10,800
high view of them but um but yes big

189
00:07:14,629 --> 00:07:13,199
explosions on the horizon

190
00:07:17,110 --> 00:07:14,639
uh

191
00:07:18,629 --> 00:07:17,120
spreading over the earth and

192
00:07:19,749 --> 00:07:18,639
just

193
00:07:21,990 --> 00:07:19,759
um

194
00:07:24,070 --> 00:07:22,000
people suffering a lot of turmoil a lot

195
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:24,080
of running a lot of

196
00:07:28,230 --> 00:07:26,880
fear that kind of thing yeah

197
00:07:29,909 --> 00:07:28,240
now um

198
00:07:32,150 --> 00:07:29,919
when you say you had a high view that

199
00:07:33,749 --> 00:07:32,160
would potentially mean you were you were

200
00:07:35,670 --> 00:07:33,759
viewing it from

201
00:07:37,589 --> 00:07:35,680
you given what we're talking about like

202
00:07:39,589 --> 00:07:37,599
a craft or you could be on board

203
00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:39,599
something looking down is it something

204
00:07:42,710 --> 00:07:40,960
that you feel was

205
00:07:44,550 --> 00:07:42,720
definitely a dream or is it a

206
00:07:46,790 --> 00:07:44,560
possibility these were

207
00:07:48,230 --> 00:07:46,800
visions of something that could happen

208
00:07:50,309 --> 00:07:48,240
you know you hear about alternate

209
00:07:52,869 --> 00:07:50,319
timelines or are you quite sure they

210
00:07:53,990 --> 00:07:52,879
were just vivid dreams

211
00:07:55,990 --> 00:07:54,000
um i

212
00:07:58,070 --> 00:07:56,000
my dream world is

213
00:07:59,670 --> 00:07:58,080
an incredibly rich place for me and i'm

214
00:08:03,350 --> 00:07:59,680
pretty

215
00:08:05,350 --> 00:08:03,360
of a normal dream and then what this

216
00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:05,360
what is this other thing and those

217
00:08:10,629 --> 00:08:08,160
dreams were always this this other thing

218
00:08:11,589 --> 00:08:10,639
and so i they

219
00:08:13,830 --> 00:08:11,599
they were

220
00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:13,840
they've they're incredibly real

221
00:08:17,510 --> 00:08:16,000
um

222
00:08:21,990 --> 00:08:17,520
i i guess the only thing that i can say

223
00:08:24,469 --> 00:08:22,000
is i do feel that i was being shown

224
00:08:27,029 --> 00:08:24,479
i was being shown these images and also

225
00:08:30,230 --> 00:08:27,039
being given this real sense of urgency

226
00:08:32,790 --> 00:08:30,240
around it and so i would

227
00:08:34,310 --> 00:08:32,800
even even young i would wake up and just

228
00:08:35,909 --> 00:08:34,320
not know what to do with that you know i

229
00:08:37,190 --> 00:08:35,919
just wouldn't but i would i would feel

230
00:08:38,870 --> 00:08:37,200
like

231
00:08:41,909 --> 00:08:38,880
there was something very important going

232
00:08:42,709 --> 00:08:41,919
on and nobody around me

233
00:08:47,030 --> 00:08:42,719
was

234
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:47,040
the same feeling that i had so

235
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:48,240
um

236
00:08:52,829 --> 00:08:50,320
you know i think later in my life as

237
00:08:56,630 --> 00:08:52,839
i've sort of put this together the idea

238
00:08:58,470 --> 00:08:56,640
of being shown a potentiality um or an

239
00:09:00,710 --> 00:08:58,480
alternate timeline or something does

240
00:09:03,110 --> 00:09:00,720
make sense but at the time

241
00:09:04,949 --> 00:09:03,120
it was just

242
00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:04,959
more than anything it just instilled in

243
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:07,440
me this sense of mission and urgency and

244
00:09:13,590 --> 00:09:10,560
fear honestly it was uh

245
00:09:15,670 --> 00:09:13,600
i was i've been you know most of my life

246
00:09:17,350 --> 00:09:15,680
pretty afraid of you know it's very

247
00:09:18,230 --> 00:09:17,360
difficult for me to be on this planet

248
00:09:19,350 --> 00:09:18,240
and

249
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:19,360
um

250
00:09:23,269 --> 00:09:21,279
i find the suffering really difficult

251
00:09:25,829 --> 00:09:23,279
and i it's very present for me and i'm

252
00:09:28,710 --> 00:09:25,839
very sensitive to it and i don't know if

253
00:09:30,389 --> 00:09:28,720
my experiences uh

254
00:09:33,350 --> 00:09:30,399
helped shape that or if that's just part

255
00:09:35,430 --> 00:09:33,360
of my nature but i i do think

256
00:09:38,389 --> 00:09:35,440
i do think that my experiences sort of

257
00:09:39,910 --> 00:09:38,399
put me into that state of just being

258
00:09:41,590 --> 00:09:39,920
conscious that there's something going

259
00:09:42,550 --> 00:09:41,600
on here that needs to be paid attention

260
00:09:48,389 --> 00:09:42,560
to

261
00:09:49,910 --> 00:09:48,399
creature

262
00:09:52,389 --> 00:09:49,920
that you said happened many times

263
00:09:53,990 --> 00:09:52,399
starting at four years old again was it

264
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:54,000
something you remember through your life

265
00:09:57,990 --> 00:09:55,760
you've never forgotten it and then

266
00:09:59,590 --> 00:09:58,000
remembered it in later life that it

267
00:10:01,509 --> 00:09:59,600
could have been again one of these

268
00:10:03,829 --> 00:10:01,519
dreams because you seem to describe that

269
00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:03,839
as if that was a a physical event it

270
00:10:07,190 --> 00:10:05,200
happened you were awake you were

271
00:10:09,110 --> 00:10:07,200
conscious it was did i have that feeling

272
00:10:11,269 --> 00:10:09,120
that it definitely happened

273
00:10:15,190 --> 00:10:11,279
as you're awake now

274
00:10:20,710 --> 00:10:15,200
um the the first one especially did feel

275
00:10:24,870 --> 00:10:22,790
in reality although what i'll say is

276
00:10:26,310 --> 00:10:24,880
that so many of my experiences have

277
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:26,320
happened in

278
00:10:31,829 --> 00:10:28,560
uh different states of consciousness

279
00:10:35,670 --> 00:10:31,839
that it it honestly does blur a little

280
00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:35,680
bit i've had experiences where

281
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:37,760
you know there are beings that are in

282
00:10:42,230 --> 00:10:40,000
the room with me but

283
00:10:45,269 --> 00:10:42,240
the room doesn't look exactly the same

284
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:45,279
you know so so trying to to put where

285
00:10:50,310 --> 00:10:48,000
exactly these experiences took place is

286
00:10:53,190 --> 00:10:50,320
difficult um that experience in

287
00:10:54,790 --> 00:10:53,200
particular did i do you know i was four

288
00:10:56,630 --> 00:10:54,800
so

289
00:10:58,870 --> 00:10:56,640
it's it's hard to say and memory is a

290
00:11:00,710 --> 00:10:58,880
funny thing but my sense of that was

291
00:11:02,389 --> 00:11:00,720
that it happened you know that that

292
00:11:03,829 --> 00:11:02,399
being was physically there that i was

293
00:11:06,790 --> 00:11:03,839
physically there

294
00:11:09,350 --> 00:11:06,800
um i do also have this memory and sense

295
00:11:11,670 --> 00:11:09,360
that there was some sort of

296
00:11:14,389 --> 00:11:11,680
light and

297
00:11:16,069 --> 00:11:14,399
sort of a shimmering in the air around

298
00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:16,079
him and

299
00:11:19,750 --> 00:11:17,839
you know later in life what i've what

300
00:11:21,670 --> 00:11:19,760
i've come to put together is that there

301
00:11:23,829 --> 00:11:21,680
was some sort of

302
00:11:26,230 --> 00:11:23,839
um

303
00:11:28,389 --> 00:11:26,240
doorway or something in between

304
00:11:30,389 --> 00:11:28,399
realities

305
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:30,399
but at the same time yeah he felt like

306
00:11:35,030 --> 00:11:32,320
he was there i felt like i was there in

307
00:11:36,949 --> 00:11:35,040
the in the quote unquote real world yeah

308
00:11:38,550 --> 00:11:36,959
now when i was reading that the article

309
00:11:40,230 --> 00:11:38,560
you were very candid and you talked

310
00:11:42,150 --> 00:11:40,240
about there were years in your life

311
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:42,160
where there was like alcohol but is it

312
00:11:46,710 --> 00:11:44,240
fairly alcohol abuse or just excessive

313
00:11:48,230 --> 00:11:46,720
drinking yeah um again i appreciate

314
00:11:49,750 --> 00:11:48,240
that's the difficult thing to talk about

315
00:11:51,670 --> 00:11:49,760
and you've spoke about that in the

316
00:11:53,670 --> 00:11:51,680
article you mentioned again there's a

317
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:53,680
turbulent period in your life a lot of

318
00:11:57,590 --> 00:11:55,920
drama and you you're honest that you

319
00:12:00,230 --> 00:11:57,600
felt you were running from it

320
00:12:01,190 --> 00:12:00,240
did the experiences during this time in

321
00:12:03,750 --> 00:12:01,200
your life

322
00:12:05,430 --> 00:12:03,760
stop because in reading the article i

323
00:12:07,910 --> 00:12:05,440
get the feeling it goes to that age of

324
00:12:10,470 --> 00:12:07,920
nine or ten and then you mention getting

325
00:12:13,750 --> 00:12:10,480
sober in your early 30s and the

326
00:12:15,750 --> 00:12:13,760
experiences begin again so was it a time

327
00:12:17,190 --> 00:12:15,760
during those kind of turbulent years

328
00:12:19,190 --> 00:12:17,200
where you weren't having those same

329
00:12:21,750 --> 00:12:19,200
experiences

330
00:12:27,829 --> 00:12:24,550
that's yeah that's that's correct i

331
00:12:30,870 --> 00:12:27,839
during that time during probably my

332
00:12:32,790 --> 00:12:30,880
uh late teens until my early thirties it

333
00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:32,800
was just a very very turbulent part of

334
00:12:37,030 --> 00:12:35,440
my life yeah and i and i attribute it

335
00:12:39,590 --> 00:12:37,040
you know i'm just i attribute it to

336
00:12:41,590 --> 00:12:39,600
being so very sensitive to everything i

337
00:12:43,750 --> 00:12:41,600
just again found it

338
00:12:45,910 --> 00:12:43,760
very difficult to i didn't i've never

339
00:12:47,590 --> 00:12:45,920
really understood how it works here and

340
00:12:49,269 --> 00:12:47,600
what everybody's doing and how i'm

341
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:49,279
supposed to do it and

342
00:12:53,509 --> 00:12:50,480
um

343
00:12:55,350 --> 00:12:53,519
and i i feel like i just sort of was a

344
00:12:57,590 --> 00:12:55,360
raw nerve to the world everything felt

345
00:12:58,550 --> 00:12:57,600
very difficult and confusing for me

346
00:13:02,629 --> 00:12:58,560
uh

347
00:13:07,509 --> 00:13:05,110
my entire life i've had um

348
00:13:09,670 --> 00:13:07,519
that sensitivity and so

349
00:13:11,829 --> 00:13:09,680
the dr you know i continued to have very

350
00:13:13,030 --> 00:13:11,839
profound dreams i've i had prophetic

351
00:13:15,750 --> 00:13:13,040
dreams i

352
00:13:17,990 --> 00:13:15,760
was um ex you know

353
00:13:19,910 --> 00:13:18,000
experimenting with all types of religion

354
00:13:21,110 --> 00:13:19,920
and spirituality trying to look for some

355
00:13:22,949 --> 00:13:21,120
meaning and

356
00:13:24,150 --> 00:13:22,959
uh

357
00:13:26,870 --> 00:13:24,160
but the

358
00:13:28,790 --> 00:13:26,880
the intensity of sort of the the

359
00:13:30,470 --> 00:13:28,800
non-human intelligent

360
00:13:33,110 --> 00:13:30,480
experiences

361
00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:33,120
did not happen during that time

362
00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:34,480
and do you think there's a potential

363
00:13:39,990 --> 00:13:37,360
that again if you're if you're ex having

364
00:13:42,069 --> 00:13:40,000
an excess of a substance such as alcohol

365
00:13:43,750 --> 00:13:42,079
that that could be potentially blocking

366
00:13:45,350 --> 00:13:43,760
those experiences that you don't have

367
00:13:47,990 --> 00:13:45,360
that clear mind do you think that was

368
00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:48,000
part of it

369
00:13:58,230 --> 00:13:53,110
i i do i absolutely think that that had

370
00:14:03,670 --> 00:14:01,030
i do think that

371
00:14:06,389 --> 00:14:03,680
that in addition to

372
00:14:07,829 --> 00:14:06,399
the substance itself and sort of the the

373
00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:07,839
running and the turning away and the

374
00:14:14,550 --> 00:14:10,800
numbing another big part of that was

375
00:14:16,790 --> 00:14:14,560
what it seems like is that every time i

376
00:14:18,949 --> 00:14:16,800
just sort of stopped running and just

377
00:14:21,350 --> 00:14:18,959
let my health myself have some space and

378
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:21,360
let my health self have some

379
00:14:25,110 --> 00:14:22,959
stability

380
00:14:26,790 --> 00:14:25,120
uh then unexpectedly these things would

381
00:14:27,990 --> 00:14:26,800
start happening again which i always

382
00:14:29,670 --> 00:14:28,000
found sort of

383
00:14:31,269 --> 00:14:29,680
um slightly frustrating because i would

384
00:14:33,030 --> 00:14:31,279
sort of just feel like i got my feet

385
00:14:34,949 --> 00:14:33,040
underneath me and then these experiences

386
00:14:36,949 --> 00:14:34,959
would start again but i do see a

387
00:14:38,230 --> 00:14:36,959
correlation between

388
00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:38,240
um

389
00:14:43,430 --> 00:14:40,800
you know between alcohol and other

390
00:14:45,829 --> 00:14:43,440
substances and running and

391
00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:45,839
and sort of drama and not having the

392
00:14:49,750 --> 00:14:48,079
experiences and then stopping and

393
00:14:51,350 --> 00:14:49,760
getting some stability and then they

394
00:14:53,189 --> 00:14:51,360
would come back as if they were sort of

395
00:14:54,949 --> 00:14:53,199
just waiting for me to be available

396
00:14:56,870 --> 00:14:54,959
almost

397
00:14:59,030 --> 00:14:56,880
one of the experiences you talked about

398
00:15:01,990 --> 00:14:59,040
when they started back up again in your

399
00:15:03,750 --> 00:15:02,000
early 30s was that you were having again

400
00:15:06,710 --> 00:15:03,760
out of body experiences there was

401
00:15:09,350 --> 00:15:06,720
violent shaking um buzzing vibrations

402
00:15:11,110 --> 00:15:09,360
and and one of them a velvety darkness

403
00:15:13,990 --> 00:15:11,120
you were suspended in

404
00:15:16,550 --> 00:15:14,000
and then you you talk of being

405
00:15:18,310 --> 00:15:16,560
a gateway a pixelated gateway appeared

406
00:15:20,389 --> 00:15:18,320
that you felt you were drawn towards and

407
00:15:22,710 --> 00:15:20,399
the language you used in the article was

408
00:15:25,350 --> 00:15:22,720
it was like where we go when we die can

409
00:15:28,230 --> 00:15:25,360
you talk me through that experience

410
00:15:30,550 --> 00:15:28,240
that yes that that was actually uh as as

411
00:15:32,389 --> 00:15:30,560
sort of terrifying as it was that that

412
00:15:34,949 --> 00:15:32,399
became a real touchstone experience for

413
00:15:37,030 --> 00:15:34,959
me because it was so

414
00:15:39,110 --> 00:15:37,040
undeniably

415
00:15:41,430 --> 00:15:39,120
real you know i could i could kind of

416
00:15:43,030 --> 00:15:41,440
write off the dreams i could kind of you

417
00:15:44,629 --> 00:15:43,040
know write off

418
00:15:46,629 --> 00:15:44,639
some things that had happened to me but

419
00:15:49,430 --> 00:15:46,639
that experience was

420
00:15:50,949 --> 00:15:49,440
um was extraordinary and

421
00:15:52,150 --> 00:15:50,959
it began with

422
00:15:54,230 --> 00:15:52,160
you know i started having sleep

423
00:15:56,870 --> 00:15:54,240
paralysis which i'd never had before and

424
00:15:58,230 --> 00:15:56,880
i would i would you know if anybody's

425
00:16:00,470 --> 00:15:58,240
have it ever had it they know how

426
00:16:02,550 --> 00:16:00,480
terrifying that is and i had no context

427
00:16:03,590 --> 00:16:02,560
for it no idea what was going on

428
00:16:06,150 --> 00:16:03,600
um

429
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:06,160
and for months i i fought and struggled

430
00:16:10,069 --> 00:16:08,480
with sleep paralysis and during that

431
00:16:12,949 --> 00:16:10,079
time yeah i would wake up the bed would

432
00:16:16,150 --> 00:16:12,959
be shaking or i would i would

433
00:16:17,990 --> 00:16:16,160
sort of be overtaken in sleep paralysis

434
00:16:19,670 --> 00:16:18,000
and then have an out-of-body experience

435
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:19,680
and a being would take me out of my

436
00:16:23,670 --> 00:16:21,680
house and lots of things like this were

437
00:16:25,350 --> 00:16:23,680
happening um

438
00:16:26,949 --> 00:16:25,360
but i struggled against it all the time

439
00:16:28,870 --> 00:16:26,959
i really fought against the sleep

440
00:16:30,230 --> 00:16:28,880
paralysis because it's so terrifying

441
00:16:33,110 --> 00:16:30,240
when it happens

442
00:16:35,990 --> 00:16:33,120
and one night it was hours and hours and

443
00:16:38,310 --> 00:16:36,000
hours of just this rolling um you know i

444
00:16:40,790 --> 00:16:38,320
would i would force myself my body to

445
00:16:43,030 --> 00:16:40,800
move i would fall back again into the

446
00:16:45,910 --> 00:16:43,040
paralysis just fighting it fighting it

447
00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:45,920
and eventually again sort of a moment

448
00:16:49,110 --> 00:16:47,680
where i kind of turned towards the

449
00:16:51,350 --> 00:16:49,120
experience i

450
00:16:52,629 --> 00:16:51,360
i just kind of surrendered and thought

451
00:16:54,150 --> 00:16:52,639
to myself

452
00:16:55,749 --> 00:16:54,160
what would happen if i just stopped

453
00:16:57,910 --> 00:16:55,759
fighting this

454
00:17:00,949 --> 00:16:57,920
and it was terrifying it was really

455
00:17:02,310 --> 00:17:00,959
terrifying to stop fighting it because

456
00:17:03,910 --> 00:17:02,320
you know it feels like death it really

457
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:03,920
does feel like something horrible is

458
00:17:06,309 --> 00:17:05,280
going to happen

459
00:17:08,870 --> 00:17:06,319
but i

460
00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:08,880
sort of you know braced myself stopped

461
00:17:13,110 --> 00:17:10,000
fighting it

462
00:17:15,590 --> 00:17:13,120
and when i did that

463
00:17:21,429 --> 00:17:18,390
my entire body began to buzz and vibrate

464
00:17:23,590 --> 00:17:21,439
i was overwhelmed by that buzzing and by

465
00:17:25,829 --> 00:17:23,600
light

466
00:17:26,949 --> 00:17:25,839
i could feel myself sort of dissolving i

467
00:17:29,029 --> 00:17:26,959
could feel

468
00:17:30,950 --> 00:17:29,039
uh

469
00:17:33,190 --> 00:17:30,960
my physical body or

470
00:17:34,950 --> 00:17:33,200
you know some some part of me kind of

471
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:34,960
dissolving and

472
00:17:38,870 --> 00:17:37,600
as that happened i

473
00:17:41,350 --> 00:17:38,880
became

474
00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:41,360
really conscious of

475
00:17:47,270 --> 00:17:44,799
this cacophony of sound and it was so uh

476
00:17:49,510 --> 00:17:47,280
there was a density to the sound that

477
00:17:51,350 --> 00:17:49,520
it's hard to describe but it was it was

478
00:17:55,270 --> 00:17:51,360
so complete the sound and the light were

479
00:17:56,870 --> 00:17:55,280
so complete that i i was completely

480
00:17:58,310 --> 00:17:56,880
enveloped in that

481
00:18:01,430 --> 00:17:58,320
and

482
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:01,440
ultimately i did find myself

483
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:04,960
very conscious very present very awake

484
00:18:10,070 --> 00:18:07,280
um in this

485
00:18:11,750 --> 00:18:10,080
rich black velvety

486
00:18:13,669 --> 00:18:11,760
space

487
00:18:15,990 --> 00:18:13,679
that was

488
00:18:19,029 --> 00:18:16,000
not a vacuum it was full of intelligence

489
00:18:20,390 --> 00:18:19,039
it was full of um

490
00:18:21,990 --> 00:18:20,400
presence

491
00:18:26,310 --> 00:18:22,000
and

492
00:18:30,070 --> 00:18:26,320
of had this sense that it was you know

493
00:18:33,590 --> 00:18:31,590
carbonated bubbles you know that were

494
00:18:35,590 --> 00:18:33,600
just getting farther and farther away

495
00:18:37,669 --> 00:18:35,600
and i it was scary i was you know

496
00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:37,679
because i was i was sort of dissolving

497
00:18:41,990 --> 00:18:39,200
into nothing and

498
00:18:43,990 --> 00:18:42,000
and as that was happening um

499
00:18:46,789 --> 00:18:44,000
a sort of

500
00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:46,799
presence made itself known

501
00:18:51,590 --> 00:18:49,520
it felt feminine to me and

502
00:18:55,510 --> 00:18:51,600
she sort of beckoned me towards this

503
00:19:00,710 --> 00:18:58,470
this triangular sort of shaped

504
00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:00,720
uh space that was kind of pulling the

505
00:19:04,870 --> 00:19:02,400
little bubbles of me through it i felt

506
00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:04,880
like i was being drawn into this space

507
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:06,720
and it was kind of happening faster and

508
00:19:10,789 --> 00:19:08,320
faster i feel like i was being sucked

509
00:19:13,510 --> 00:19:10,799
through into the space and as i

510
00:19:14,950 --> 00:19:13,520
sort of approached it i realized that

511
00:19:17,430 --> 00:19:14,960
was the thought that came to my head you

512
00:19:19,029 --> 00:19:17,440
know this if i go through here

513
00:19:20,710 --> 00:19:19,039
i will be where

514
00:19:23,590 --> 00:19:20,720
we go when we die

515
00:19:26,310 --> 00:19:23,600
and that terrified me and so with all of

516
00:19:27,590 --> 00:19:26,320
my sort of will i i pushed back away

517
00:19:28,549 --> 00:19:27,600
from that

518
00:19:31,590 --> 00:19:28,559
um

519
00:19:33,110 --> 00:19:31,600
i kind of slammed back into my body i

520
00:19:35,510 --> 00:19:33,120
sat up in bed

521
00:19:37,909 --> 00:19:35,520
and you know after having just the most

522
00:19:39,669 --> 00:19:37,919
profound experience of my life instead

523
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:39,679
of getting up or

524
00:19:43,990 --> 00:19:41,440
writing about it or thinking about it i

525
00:19:46,470 --> 00:19:44,000
immediately laid back down

526
00:19:49,669 --> 00:19:46,480
my head hit the pillow i fell

527
00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:49,679
directly asleep and into a dream

528
00:19:53,350 --> 00:19:51,600
and in the dream

529
00:19:55,510 --> 00:19:53,360
i was standing near my childhood home

530
00:19:57,350 --> 00:19:55,520
and out of the horizon rose these four

531
00:20:00,630 --> 00:19:57,360
massive beings

532
00:20:02,630 --> 00:20:00,640
uh made of the same light and vibration

533
00:20:05,190 --> 00:20:02,640
that i had just experienced and they

534
00:20:06,950 --> 00:20:05,200
told me we're here when you're ready

535
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:06,960
and that was it and

536
00:20:14,950 --> 00:20:08,880
it

537
00:20:16,710 --> 00:20:14,960
something had happened to me

538
00:20:18,630 --> 00:20:16,720
and it kind of set me on the next part

539
00:20:20,230 --> 00:20:18,640
of my journey

540
00:20:22,310 --> 00:20:20,240
do you think and i don't know if this is

541
00:20:23,590 --> 00:20:22,320
what you were getting at anyway when you

542
00:20:25,430 --> 00:20:23,600
had the

543
00:20:27,750 --> 00:20:25,440
the feeling of being drawn towards that

544
00:20:29,669 --> 00:20:27,760
light do you think if you had succumbed

545
00:20:31,669 --> 00:20:29,679
or gone that way that your physical body

546
00:20:32,830 --> 00:20:31,679
would have died

547
00:20:36,549 --> 00:20:32,840
uh

548
00:20:38,149 --> 00:20:36,559
i i have no idea i don't think so i

549
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:38,159
don't think so i

550
00:20:41,270 --> 00:20:39,440
um

551
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:41,280
often in my life i've looked back on

552
00:20:46,830 --> 00:20:43,520
that moment and i have had moments of

553
00:20:49,830 --> 00:20:46,840
regret you know sort of gosh

554
00:20:51,110 --> 00:20:49,840
what would that have been like to go to

555
00:20:53,029 --> 00:20:51,120
go through there and had i had the

556
00:20:54,149 --> 00:20:53,039
courage what would i have experienced

557
00:20:56,149 --> 00:20:54,159
and

558
00:21:00,710 --> 00:20:56,159
the red the red pillar blue pill like

559
00:21:03,110 --> 00:21:00,720
the moment yeah exactly exactly and i

560
00:21:05,190 --> 00:21:03,120
uh

561
00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:05,200
i

562
00:21:19,750 --> 00:21:17,600
was

563
00:21:22,230 --> 00:21:19,760
and you talked about you slammed back

564
00:21:24,470 --> 00:21:22,240
into your body so you're looking at if

565
00:21:26,950 --> 00:21:24,480
if i was in the room when that happened

566
00:21:29,190 --> 00:21:26,960
do you presume that i would have seen

567
00:21:31,510 --> 00:21:29,200
you just lying sleeping

568
00:21:33,750 --> 00:21:31,520
with i would have had no idea that you

569
00:21:35,430 --> 00:21:33,760
were having this experience that was

570
00:21:37,590 --> 00:21:35,440
your your consciousness was having the

571
00:21:39,750 --> 00:21:37,600
experience or do you think there's ever

572
00:21:41,510 --> 00:21:39,760
been a time that someone in the same

573
00:21:44,710 --> 00:21:41,520
room as you would have physically

574
00:21:46,630 --> 00:21:44,720
witnessed your body not being there

575
00:21:48,789 --> 00:21:46,640
um i

576
00:21:51,909 --> 00:21:48,799
think that you would have seen

577
00:21:53,029 --> 00:21:51,919
my body laying there still yeah um i i

578
00:21:55,590 --> 00:21:53,039
have had

579
00:21:58,149 --> 00:21:55,600
i've had one experience where i

580
00:22:01,350 --> 00:21:58,159
questioned whether my my actual physical

581
00:22:04,149 --> 00:22:01,360
body was taken as well

582
00:22:05,990 --> 00:22:04,159
but that that experiences and the other

583
00:22:07,830 --> 00:22:06,000
out of body experiences

584
00:22:09,909 --> 00:22:07,840
i believe that

585
00:22:11,909 --> 00:22:09,919
that it's a different body that i'm that

586
00:22:13,750 --> 00:22:11,919
i'm traveling and that my physical body

587
00:22:14,950 --> 00:22:13,760
was there

588
00:22:16,950 --> 00:22:14,960
and why was that what would have

589
00:22:18,630 --> 00:22:16,960
separated the one experience you feel

590
00:22:20,630 --> 00:22:18,640
your physical body may have may have

591
00:22:22,710 --> 00:22:20,640
gone to

592
00:22:23,750 --> 00:22:22,720
you know i i don't know i

593
00:22:25,430 --> 00:22:23,760
uh

594
00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:25,440
one of the characteristics of this

595
00:22:30,310 --> 00:22:28,080
phenomenon is that it's

596
00:22:32,470 --> 00:22:30,320
it makes no sense i can't figure it out

597
00:22:34,310 --> 00:22:32,480
i i can't i can't pin it down i can't

598
00:22:36,070 --> 00:22:34,320
wrap my head around it i

599
00:22:38,470 --> 00:22:36,080
um

600
00:22:40,710 --> 00:22:38,480
the the experience where i feel like my

601
00:22:43,830 --> 00:22:40,720
physical body even if it didn't leave

602
00:22:44,630 --> 00:22:43,840
the room that it it lifted

603
00:22:46,470 --> 00:22:44,640
uh

604
00:22:49,430 --> 00:22:46,480
started the same you know it started

605
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:49,440
with sort of the buzzing and the light

606
00:22:52,870 --> 00:22:51,760
and the the sleep paralysis kind of

607
00:22:55,350 --> 00:22:52,880
feeling

608
00:22:57,190 --> 00:22:55,360
and during that experience the only

609
00:22:58,950 --> 00:22:57,200
difference was i looked

610
00:23:00,789 --> 00:22:58,960
down i was laying in bed and i sort of

611
00:23:02,950 --> 00:23:00,799
looked down my body and

612
00:23:05,830 --> 00:23:02,960
the covers were kind of tented as if i

613
00:23:08,630 --> 00:23:05,840
had as if my body had risen i don't

614
00:23:10,549 --> 00:23:08,640
uh i don't know if that's what happened

615
00:23:14,710 --> 00:23:10,559
i don't know it's the only time that

616
00:23:21,029 --> 00:23:17,270
like that's what happened um

617
00:23:23,590 --> 00:23:21,039
but these realms are tricky you know

618
00:23:25,270 --> 00:23:23,600
you then had another experience where um

619
00:23:26,549 --> 00:23:25,280
i get you mentioned that you're you're

620
00:23:29,350 --> 00:23:26,559
drinking at that point you were

621
00:23:31,990 --> 00:23:29,360
suffering depression and you saw beings

622
00:23:34,390 --> 00:23:32,000
when you had fell and broken your ankle

623
00:23:36,390 --> 00:23:34,400
and that that was around is that five

624
00:23:38,549 --> 00:23:36,400
six years ago now

625
00:23:41,190 --> 00:23:38,559
uh yep that's about that's just over

626
00:23:42,870 --> 00:23:41,200
five years that's day i got sober

627
00:23:46,070 --> 00:23:42,880
um and i

628
00:23:46,950 --> 00:23:46,080
yeah they the beings that appeared as i

629
00:23:49,669 --> 00:23:46,960
fell

630
00:23:51,269 --> 00:23:49,679
were the four beings who had appeared

631
00:23:53,990 --> 00:23:51,279
this they were the same beings they were

632
00:23:56,149 --> 00:23:54,000
the light and the buzzing the vibration

633
00:23:57,430 --> 00:23:56,159
and they appeared

634
00:24:00,789 --> 00:23:57,440
as i fell

635
00:24:03,110 --> 00:24:00,799
and it was a very slow motion moment and

636
00:24:05,190 --> 00:24:03,120
there was a lot of compassion and

637
00:24:06,950 --> 00:24:05,200
care

638
00:24:08,470 --> 00:24:06,960
and honestly this i mean i didn't really

639
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:08,480
kind of expect this to be difficult to

640
00:24:13,990 --> 00:24:11,760
talk about but it is um

641
00:24:16,549 --> 00:24:14,000
but they told me that it was this or

642
00:24:18,710 --> 00:24:16,559
something worse and what i felt by that

643
00:24:20,310 --> 00:24:18,720
was that my life was

644
00:24:21,990 --> 00:24:20,320
it was pretty out of control it was

645
00:24:23,029 --> 00:24:22,000
pretty dark i was having a really hard

646
00:24:24,390 --> 00:24:23,039
time

647
00:24:27,029 --> 00:24:24,400
and

648
00:24:30,070 --> 00:24:28,070
um

649
00:24:32,070 --> 00:24:30,080
it's hard to talk about but i feel like

650
00:24:33,510 --> 00:24:32,080
i feel like i was stopped i do i really

651
00:24:35,830 --> 00:24:33,520
really feel like i was sort of stopped

652
00:24:37,590 --> 00:24:35,840
in my tracks like this needs to come to

653
00:24:39,909 --> 00:24:37,600
an end because

654
00:24:42,070 --> 00:24:39,919
it will not end well and i have other

655
00:24:44,630 --> 00:24:42,080
things that i need to be doing and so i

656
00:24:48,549 --> 00:24:46,390
i don't feel like it was

657
00:24:50,549 --> 00:24:48,559
i feel like they were involved or at

658
00:24:53,269 --> 00:24:50,559
least present for it

659
00:24:54,310 --> 00:24:53,279
um and there was compassion there so and

660
00:24:55,990 --> 00:24:54,320
love

661
00:24:57,269 --> 00:24:56,000
can you think why

662
00:24:59,269 --> 00:24:57,279
beings would

663
00:25:01,590 --> 00:24:59,279
approach and this this starts to get to

664
00:25:03,029 --> 00:25:01,600
the one of the issues many including the

665
00:25:04,549 --> 00:25:03,039
mainstream especially have with the

666
00:25:07,510 --> 00:25:04,559
experiencer

667
00:25:09,269 --> 00:25:07,520
phenomena why you because there are

668
00:25:12,230 --> 00:25:09,279
other people who again have been in

669
00:25:14,549 --> 00:25:12,240
places through alcohol abuse drug abuse

670
00:25:16,549 --> 00:25:14,559
or any other like sexual abuse

671
00:25:18,870 --> 00:25:16,559
and they potentially or we don't hear

672
00:25:20,149 --> 00:25:18,880
about them having these experiences

673
00:25:21,830 --> 00:25:20,159
why do you think

674
00:25:23,590 --> 00:25:21,840
you've had this through your life is

675
00:25:25,590 --> 00:25:23,600
there anything you can put your finger

676
00:25:26,470 --> 00:25:25,600
on with it

677
00:25:27,590 --> 00:25:26,480
um

678
00:25:34,149 --> 00:25:27,600
i

679
00:25:44,310 --> 00:25:34,159
that

680
00:25:45,510 --> 00:25:44,320
work

681
00:25:47,909 --> 00:25:45,520
uh

682
00:25:52,470 --> 00:25:50,870
beyond that no i don't know why why you

683
00:25:54,630 --> 00:25:52,480
know i think that's a question that a

684
00:25:56,390 --> 00:25:54,640
lot of experiencers have and a lot of

685
00:25:58,149 --> 00:25:56,400
experiencers have very

686
00:26:00,390 --> 00:25:58,159
um some of my experiences were terribly

687
00:26:02,149 --> 00:26:00,400
traumatic but overall they've ended up

688
00:26:03,750 --> 00:26:02,159
being a positive

689
00:26:05,830 --> 00:26:03,760
aspect in my life

690
00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:05,840
but for many people that's not the case

691
00:26:10,710 --> 00:26:07,440
they continue to be traumatic they

692
00:26:12,710 --> 00:26:10,720
continue to be invasive they're unwanted

693
00:26:14,950 --> 00:26:12,720
and i think that's a question that a lot

694
00:26:16,950 --> 00:26:14,960
of experiencers ask you know why me why

695
00:26:20,470 --> 00:26:16,960
is this happening to me and also you

696
00:26:22,390 --> 00:26:20,480
know very difficult to talk about

697
00:26:24,789 --> 00:26:22,400
with friends and family very difficult

698
00:26:27,269 --> 00:26:24,799
to to make sense of

699
00:26:29,750 --> 00:26:27,279
and an unanswerable question you know i

700
00:26:31,990 --> 00:26:29,760
don't i don't know why that is why some

701
00:26:34,149 --> 00:26:32,000
people and why not others

702
00:26:37,029 --> 00:26:34,159
what is that conversation like with

703
00:26:38,630 --> 00:26:37,039
friends and family how far can it go uh

704
00:26:40,230 --> 00:26:38,640
have a hard enough time like many who

705
00:26:42,950 --> 00:26:40,240
listen to this podcast just talking

706
00:26:44,789 --> 00:26:42,960
about ufos with everyday friends and

707
00:26:47,510 --> 00:26:44,799
that's just me chatting about the

708
00:26:48,630 --> 00:26:47,520
subject casually let alone having these

709
00:26:51,190 --> 00:26:48,640
intense

710
00:26:52,870 --> 00:26:51,200
life-altering experiences what is the

711
00:26:55,830 --> 00:26:52,880
impact of having that conversation with

712
00:26:58,070 --> 00:26:55,840
your kind of nearest and dearest

713
00:27:00,789 --> 00:26:58,080
um you know

714
00:27:02,789 --> 00:27:00,799
i did i over the years i did you know i

715
00:27:04,070 --> 00:27:02,799
kind of told people i would try to talk

716
00:27:06,710 --> 00:27:04,080
about it

717
00:27:08,950 --> 00:27:06,720
no one really understood there were

718
00:27:10,870 --> 00:27:08,960
times when people suggested i see a

719
00:27:13,909 --> 00:27:10,880
psychiatrist you know it

720
00:27:18,789 --> 00:27:16,549
what has happened to me in the past year

721
00:27:21,669 --> 00:27:18,799
because these

722
00:27:25,110 --> 00:27:21,679
experiences have i've not been i'm no

723
00:27:27,590 --> 00:27:25,120
longer able to bear them alone

724
00:27:30,789 --> 00:27:27,600
and so what has happened is that i kind

725
00:27:32,470 --> 00:27:30,799
of had to face yes this has been my life

726
00:27:35,430 --> 00:27:32,480
yes it's a really important part of my

727
00:27:39,350 --> 00:27:35,440
life i need a way to speak about it

728
00:27:41,269 --> 00:27:39,360
and as i did that um

729
00:27:44,470 --> 00:27:41,279
the process that i personally used was

730
00:27:46,789 --> 00:27:44,480
writing about it i i wrote all of this

731
00:27:49,430 --> 00:27:46,799
and i i kind of wrote my life so that i

732
00:27:51,029 --> 00:27:49,440
could see it and see how it all fit

733
00:27:53,110 --> 00:27:51,039
together a little bit better and then i

734
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:53,120
gave that to my to my close family and

735
00:27:57,350 --> 00:27:54,480
friends to read

736
00:27:59,990 --> 00:27:57,360
and they

737
00:28:01,830 --> 00:28:00,000
i don't think anyone went oh i know what

738
00:28:03,669 --> 00:28:01,840
you're talking about this is yeah that

739
00:28:06,389 --> 00:28:03,679
happened to me last week nobody did that

740
00:28:08,070 --> 00:28:06,399
but what they did say was

741
00:28:10,470 --> 00:28:08,080
we know you better now

742
00:28:12,630 --> 00:28:10,480
and we know that this is real for you

743
00:28:14,870 --> 00:28:12,640
this is happening we we don't understand

744
00:28:16,950 --> 00:28:14,880
it but we you know i'm very lucky my

745
00:28:18,310 --> 00:28:16,960
family is like we love and support you

746
00:28:19,990 --> 00:28:18,320
we get that it's real for you we get

747
00:28:24,070 --> 00:28:20,000
that it's happening we don't quite know

748
00:28:25,110 --> 00:28:24,080
what to do with it but um

749
00:28:26,149 --> 00:28:25,120
that

750
00:28:27,990 --> 00:28:26,159
was

751
00:28:30,870 --> 00:28:28,000
actually really really wonderful for me

752
00:28:32,710 --> 00:28:30,880
because it let me

753
00:28:35,430 --> 00:28:32,720
uh they got they knew me better you know

754
00:28:38,310 --> 00:28:35,440
they knew me more just by you know me

755
00:28:40,710 --> 00:28:38,320
talking about these things other friends

756
00:28:42,149 --> 00:28:40,720
uh it is as if

757
00:28:43,990 --> 00:28:42,159
i'm speaking a different language like

758
00:28:46,149 --> 00:28:44,000
they they truly just can't receive it

759
00:28:48,470 --> 00:28:46,159
and that's okay you know i i

760
00:28:50,470 --> 00:28:48,480
i have had the experiences and i've been

761
00:28:51,269 --> 00:28:50,480
barely able to

762
00:28:52,630 --> 00:28:51,279
to

763
00:28:54,870 --> 00:28:52,640
um

764
00:28:56,710 --> 00:28:54,880
integrate them into reality and so

765
00:28:58,630 --> 00:28:56,720
people who haven't had these experiences

766
00:28:59,909 --> 00:28:58,640
like i understand i understand it's

767
00:29:02,310 --> 00:28:59,919
tough

768
00:29:04,389 --> 00:29:02,320
has a group like the experiencer group

769
00:29:06,230 --> 00:29:04,399
with jay stewart and the others involved

770
00:29:08,630 --> 00:29:06,240
and i'm sure there are many who who

771
00:29:10,230 --> 00:29:08,640
don't come forward but maybe are getting

772
00:29:12,070 --> 00:29:10,240
in touch in the background or reaching

773
00:29:14,630 --> 00:29:12,080
out and and just ready to share their

774
00:29:16,389 --> 00:29:14,640
story has that been therapeutic for you

775
00:29:17,750 --> 00:29:16,399
as well being able to have that group of

776
00:29:20,070 --> 00:29:17,760
people sharing

777
00:29:21,830 --> 00:29:20,080
similar experiences if not exactly the

778
00:29:24,549 --> 00:29:21,840
same

779
00:29:27,909 --> 00:29:24,559
yes beyond words absolutely i

780
00:29:30,389 --> 00:29:27,919
the experiencer group um

781
00:29:32,310 --> 00:29:30,399
was an ex you know was and continues to

782
00:29:33,669 --> 00:29:32,320
be an extraordinary experience for me

783
00:29:36,070 --> 00:29:33,679
because i

784
00:29:37,510 --> 00:29:36,080
had kept all of this inside for so long

785
00:29:38,549 --> 00:29:37,520
i didn't read

786
00:29:41,669 --> 00:29:38,559
any

787
00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:41,679
i read whitley streepers book this year

788
00:29:43,830 --> 00:29:42,640
uh

789
00:29:46,149 --> 00:29:43,840
after

790
00:29:48,230 --> 00:29:46,159
leaving it on my mantel for a really

791
00:29:50,789 --> 00:29:48,240
long time in terror i could barely crack

792
00:29:52,789 --> 00:29:50,799
it you know but finally did read it and

793
00:29:54,630 --> 00:29:52,799
um but i never had any context for any

794
00:29:56,710 --> 00:29:54,640
of this i never i didn't have a

795
00:30:01,269 --> 00:29:56,720
community around it and being part of

796
00:30:05,590 --> 00:30:03,190
you know it's it is like finding someone

797
00:30:06,870 --> 00:30:05,600
who speaks my native language i i don't

798
00:30:09,830 --> 00:30:06,880
have to

799
00:30:11,669 --> 00:30:09,840
explain what an out-of-body experience

800
00:30:14,070 --> 00:30:11,679
is i don't have to explain that these

801
00:30:16,149 --> 00:30:14,080
experiences take place in different

802
00:30:17,909 --> 00:30:16,159
states of consciousness or defend that i

803
00:30:20,070 --> 00:30:17,919
don't have to say

804
00:30:21,590 --> 00:30:20,080
no but that's still real i you know it's

805
00:30:23,190 --> 00:30:21,600
still something that's happening to me

806
00:30:25,510 --> 00:30:23,200
everyone knows we're all there's all

807
00:30:27,110 --> 00:30:25,520
there's sort of a baseline of

808
00:30:30,149 --> 00:30:27,120
belief there because we've all come to

809
00:30:31,990 --> 00:30:30,159
terms with um at least the

810
00:30:33,830 --> 00:30:32,000
you know the personal reality of these

811
00:30:35,750 --> 00:30:33,840
experiences and so

812
00:30:37,190 --> 00:30:35,760
um

813
00:30:38,389 --> 00:30:37,200
also

814
00:30:40,070 --> 00:30:38,399
finding

815
00:30:41,350 --> 00:30:40,080
the commonalities

816
00:30:44,070 --> 00:30:41,360
in my

817
00:30:47,029 --> 00:30:44,080
story and other people's stories was

818
00:30:48,950 --> 00:30:47,039
shocking to me i i had always felt so

819
00:30:52,870 --> 00:30:48,960
alone in this and it's just been

820
00:30:55,029 --> 00:30:52,880
extraordinary to see and hear people

821
00:30:57,110 --> 00:30:55,039
who've had the same things happen and

822
00:30:58,789 --> 00:30:57,120
it's not you know the other thing about

823
00:31:00,389 --> 00:30:58,799
the experience or group that i love is

824
00:31:05,430 --> 00:31:00,399
it is

825
00:31:07,590 --> 00:31:05,440
all anomalous experiences so this the

826
00:31:11,269 --> 00:31:07,600
the times when i've when i've

827
00:31:14,070 --> 00:31:11,279
experienced ghosts and hauntings and

828
00:31:16,789 --> 00:31:14,080
physical beings showing up in my

829
00:31:18,789 --> 00:31:16,799
bedroom and out of body experiences and

830
00:31:21,669 --> 00:31:18,799
precognition and all of these things

831
00:31:23,710 --> 00:31:21,679
that i've had in my life

832
00:31:25,509 --> 00:31:23,720
fit together finally i didn't have to

833
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:25,519
compartmentalize all of that i was able

834
00:31:30,950 --> 00:31:28,480
to integrate it and

835
00:31:32,549 --> 00:31:30,960
you know jay and stuart and kirsten the

836
00:31:34,310 --> 00:31:32,559
founders of the group

837
00:31:38,230 --> 00:31:34,320
they

838
00:31:40,870 --> 00:31:39,110
my

839
00:31:43,029 --> 00:31:40,880
you know the things i had sort of pushed

840
00:31:45,110 --> 00:31:43,039
off into the corner of my life

841
00:31:48,310 --> 00:31:45,120
and not been able to deal with have have

842
00:31:50,149 --> 00:31:48,320
become integrated and it's it is

843
00:31:51,350 --> 00:31:50,159
life-changing it was very profound for

844
00:31:53,750 --> 00:31:51,360
me

845
00:31:55,190 --> 00:31:53,760
and just wrapping up karen

846
00:31:57,430 --> 00:31:55,200
robin sorry i really appreciate your

847
00:31:59,350 --> 00:31:57,440
time and we've got karen coming on next

848
00:32:01,669 --> 00:31:59,360
week and we've got jay coming on as well

849
00:32:02,950 --> 00:32:01,679
and hopefully stuart too so i'm looking

850
00:32:04,950 --> 00:32:02,960
forward to speaking all of them and

851
00:32:06,710 --> 00:32:04,960
sharing their stories is there any

852
00:32:09,430 --> 00:32:06,720
advice you would go back and give your

853
00:32:11,029 --> 00:32:09,440
younger self uh as in the best way to

854
00:32:14,630 --> 00:32:11,039
deal and come to terms with these

855
00:32:16,789 --> 00:32:14,640
experiences growing up

856
00:32:19,430 --> 00:32:16,799
uh you know for me

857
00:32:22,470 --> 00:32:19,440
i never

858
00:32:25,190 --> 00:32:22,480
trusted myself and i ran a lot and i

859
00:32:27,029 --> 00:32:25,200
think that you know ultimately

860
00:32:30,230 --> 00:32:27,039
would i change anything i would not if

861
00:32:32,070 --> 00:32:30,240
this is my life and it has

862
00:32:34,070 --> 00:32:32,080
all of my experiences have really fueled

863
00:32:35,509 --> 00:32:34,080
my personal evolution but

864
00:32:37,750 --> 00:32:35,519
um

865
00:32:39,509 --> 00:32:37,760
i think i would tell myself to

866
00:32:40,310 --> 00:32:39,519
believe

867
00:32:45,269 --> 00:32:40,320
in

868
00:32:48,149 --> 00:32:45,279
that it is

869
00:32:49,110 --> 00:32:48,159
as valid if not more valid

870
00:32:51,590 --> 00:32:49,120
than

871
00:32:52,630 --> 00:32:51,600
sort of the exterior reflection the kind

872
00:32:53,990 --> 00:32:52,640
of

873
00:32:55,350 --> 00:32:54,000
culture where

874
00:32:57,509 --> 00:32:55,360
it seems like

875
00:33:01,430 --> 00:32:57,519
a lot of people are focused on

876
00:33:03,750 --> 00:33:01,440
uh kind of external success and and

877
00:33:06,230 --> 00:33:03,760
um this internal life that i've had and

878
00:33:08,630 --> 00:33:06,240
i kind of put off to the side is

879
00:33:10,310 --> 00:33:08,640
valuable and important and

880
00:33:11,830 --> 00:33:10,320
trustworthy

881
00:33:14,950 --> 00:33:11,840
and if someone is listening to this

882
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:14,960
right now and they themselves are having

883
00:33:19,190 --> 00:33:17,440
or have had experiences similar to yours

884
00:33:22,149 --> 00:33:19,200
they can relate what advice would you

885
00:33:26,549 --> 00:33:25,269
uh i would say to go

886
00:33:28,310 --> 00:33:26,559
slowly

887
00:33:34,070 --> 00:33:28,320
and

888
00:33:35,590 --> 00:33:34,080
these things if that's what

889
00:33:38,870 --> 00:33:35,600
you're called to do

890
00:33:40,470 --> 00:33:38,880
um i can't recommend the experience or

891
00:33:42,230 --> 00:33:40,480
group highly enough

892
00:33:44,470 --> 00:33:42,240
there are uh

893
00:33:47,029 --> 00:33:44,480
literally you know hundreds of people

894
00:33:49,110 --> 00:33:47,039
there who can receive and hold a story

895
00:33:50,710 --> 00:33:49,120
like this and

896
00:33:52,470 --> 00:33:50,720
i think everybody's journey is different

897
00:33:54,549 --> 00:33:52,480
but for me it came to a point where i

898
00:33:57,190 --> 00:33:54,559
needed to talk about it and needed to

899
00:33:59,669 --> 00:33:57,200
integrate it and finding an incredibly

900
00:34:02,470 --> 00:33:59,679
safe space with people who didn't push

901
00:34:04,149 --> 00:34:02,480
me to get it all out in one go

902
00:34:06,950 --> 00:34:04,159
and allowed me to take the space and

903
00:34:08,629 --> 00:34:06,960
time i needed was was valuable

904
00:34:10,230 --> 00:34:08,639
and and for anyone who is looking for

905
00:34:12,389 --> 00:34:10,240
information of how to get in touch with

906
00:34:14,389 --> 00:34:12,399
the experiencer group that information

907
00:34:16,470 --> 00:34:14,399
will be in the link for the podcast and

908
00:34:17,990 --> 00:34:16,480
description as well that's been great

909
00:34:19,909 --> 00:34:18,000
speaking with you robin thank you very

910
00:34:22,149 --> 00:34:19,919
much for sharing your story to for with

911
00:34:23,669 --> 00:34:22,159
myself and the listeners on the podcast

912
00:34:26,149 --> 00:34:23,679
thank you so much and thank you for

913
00:34:26,950 --> 00:34:26,159
allowing space for experiencers to talk

914
00:34:28,550 --> 00:34:26,960
about

915
00:34:29,829 --> 00:34:28,560
their experiences personally i really

916
00:34:32,470 --> 00:34:29,839
appreciate that

917
00:34:33,669 --> 00:34:32,480
anyone anytime more than happy to listen

918
00:34:35,750 --> 00:34:33,679
thank you

919
00:34:37,750 --> 00:34:35,760
that is all for this week's show thank

920
00:34:39,909 --> 00:34:37,760
you very much for listening please

921
00:34:42,389 --> 00:34:39,919
remember to leave the podcast review on

922
00:34:44,710 --> 00:34:42,399
your chosen platform you can like

923
00:34:46,629 --> 00:34:44,720
retweet and subscribe that would all be

924
00:34:48,790 --> 00:34:46,639
very much appreciated the shows are

925
00:34:50,310 --> 00:34:48,800
being uploaded onto youtube as we speak

926
00:34:52,790 --> 00:34:50,320
more and more you can sign up at

927
00:34:55,510 --> 00:34:52,800
patreon.com forward slash that ufo

928
00:34:57,750 --> 00:34:55,520
podcast to access shows ad free as well

929
00:35:00,550 --> 00:34:57,760
please get in touch on twitter facebook

930
00:35:03,750 --> 00:35:00,560
instagram that ufo podcast of course on

931
00:35:05,829 --> 00:35:03,760
twitter it's at ufouapam

932
00:35:08,970 --> 00:35:05,839
and again folks as always keep looking

933
00:35:36,030 --> 00:35:08,980
up you never know what you might see

934
00:35:36,040 --> 00:35:51,190
[Music]

935
00:35:51,200 --> 00:36:05,750
cuz

936
00:36:10,950 --> 00:36:07,030
there was something on my head and

937
00:36:17,190 --> 00:36:11,910
noise they thought it was everything

938
00:36:34,230 --> 00:36:24,330
[Music]

939
00:36:34,240 --> 00:36:38,810
and what's that

940
00:37:11,190 --> 00:36:44,150
[Music]

941
00:37:11,200 --> 00:37:17,010
foreign

942
00:37:48,710 --> 00:37:23,250
[Music]

943
00:37:48,720 --> 00:37:54,310
so